i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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