What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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