no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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