id be glad to
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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