No, you can still breathe under the balls.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
