it was like eating out sand paper
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
