Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
