Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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