wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
