apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Randomize