No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
