His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
