from now on my penis is your penis
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
