Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
