All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
My day in three words: secret purse cake
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
