I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!