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Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
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