Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
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I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
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congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.