pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
