If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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