so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
