i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I'm bleeding and have questions
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
