she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
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