Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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