no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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