She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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