i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I need to sanitize my soul.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
