So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize