I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
