You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
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