Swine flu. Run for my life!
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize