Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
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Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
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you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize