my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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