First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
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