shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
