I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
should my penis look like a turkey
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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