i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize