Dude my mom stole all your condoms
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize