paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
