he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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