Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
organizing the empties. That sober.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
