I smell stomach acid.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
