Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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