at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Randomize
