Jerry, you need to find god
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
