I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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