So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize