Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
