Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
