Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize