if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
