i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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