these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
