I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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