Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
