i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
so much tequila, so little girl.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
