I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
