porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
