You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
