he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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