I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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