and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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