Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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