Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
