I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
